Winter Ball: End of Year, Full of Tears:(

Few more hours and I'll welcome 2011 in my arms. Last night, we just had our Winter Ball Activity. Full of joy, Full of twists and turns and full of tears. :( The day before the activity, I just heard the news that RM **** has a girlfriend already. I was filled with emptiness and soberness. It seems like the world turned upside down. Masama talaga ang loob ko, parang kailan lang ako pa ang tinatanong nya. One thing more, why do he need to tell to his friends na he's waiting for me or whatever kind of katorpehan is that. I feel like ako nalang lagi yung dahilan kung bakit hindi nagwowork-out ang mga relationships. :(

Yesterday, I had prepared myself emotionally for the possible scenario that I might encounter.
:( There are times that I feel so paranoid, looking far from the sky. We spent the whole day yesterday decorating the venue and preparing ourselves. The Socials started so well. I got my first dance.. Blah Blah Blah. Everything turns to be fine because they were not around yet. I just got one problem, FOLLOWER. Dance, dance, dance. :) Then, the time has come. All I know, they wouldn't come already. Its getting late. :) Then, a man came and entered the door. I closed my eyes because I know it was him. He's with his girlfriend. They passed infront of me. Well, I thought I can handle the situation. As he introduce his girlfriend to some of our friends, I left my sit and go to Ate Abish. I never noticed that my tears fall down already. I can't help myself but just to cry and release the pain that I have inside of me. I told to Ate Vanessa that I can no longer take the pain. My eyes started to cry again. He's getting married. Ate Vane told me to stop from crying. He might think that I'm affected. Unfortunately, I can do nothing to stop my emotions. I runway from them. He's too insensitive to dance her girlfriend infront of me. What do he expect? I'll just ignore them? Ofcourse, Im in pain. I hurriedly went at the back. Then, I started to cry again.They were asking me what had happened to me? It seems that their world stop for a while and they really cared for me. My kuyas asked me to dance. I was really expecting him to offer me a dance and introduce her girlfriend to me or just clear things out. He just passed by my side. :( :( I cant stop from crying. I bowed my head and then I heard a voice telling me "Tama na yung iyak dyan, sayaw nalang kita." The voice seemed to be very familiar. It was my childhood friend. I felt relieved as he continue to send me jokes and asked me stop from crying. After that dance another friend asked me to dance. He cracked jokes also. But you know what, what made my night good? When follower finally asked me to dance. We had stories to tell, jokes to share. Though, I really refrain myself to attach myself again to him. I know same thing will happen again. :( He really made me happy though. :) I really had lots of reason to be hapopy and enjoy the party but all was ruined because of him. But, before the night ends, I really feel so blessed to those who never leave me and preferred to stay at my side from the time that I've felt I'm alone. :)

Until now, I really can't understand why he never explained, he never told me his plans about us. I really hope that he'll be happy. :) I know someday, I'll realize how lucky I am:)