Goodbye January. :)

I really don't know why I feel so upset. :( Maybe, at the thought that they will soon be sharing their lives together. T.T Anyway, I have to make things right by this time.. I don't know what lies ahead. Though, for sure it would be full of twists and turns again.. :( I'll be meeting February tomorrow.. It's been a year already!

Anyway, I just got my Patriarchal Blessing. :) Honestly, I feel so special as Patriarch gives his blessing to me. My tears fell down as I heard those lovely revelations. I really had mixed emotions right now. I know in time, I could find him. :) I just have to wait for the right man.. :)

My Mom's Greatest Lesson. :)

Whenever my mother would give us inspiring message in the scripture, she would always quote Alma 37:37. We often laugh at her because she always share it to us. For how many times that when she's reading it, we are already joining her because we had memorized it. During our Family Home Evening, Family Scripture Study, and even at church she never hesitate to share that scripture verse from the Book of Mormon. I often wonder why she keeps on sharing that to us. Yes, we knew already that we have to pray and be thankful in our daily lives, but what touches my heart most was when I finally realize that my mom just want us to never forget that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are always watching over us. Everytime that I'm in the midst of trials and tribulation I never forget to read that scripture verse. I always remember how loving Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are. I need to be thankful with all the blessings that I have. Now, I've grown up and i will always remember how my Mom changed my perspective on praying and being thankful even with the trials and adversaries I have come through.

When filled with tears and words unsaid. :(

Life is too short yet reasonable. For now, you're on the top, in few seconds you'll be at the bottom. We can not tell when will be the last. Seasons change, Hearts also. Time passes by, life ends. For nothing in this world is permanent. For every beginning, there is an end. For in every pain, there is relief. In God's chosen time, everything will took its best place. It is God whom we trust. It is God whom we know the master of everything.

We only have little time to show to our love-ones how much we care for them, so we must do it now. Do not procrastinate the day, because when its too late, you'll just regret after it. "Live life to the fullest", "Live life like its the last". We all know the meaning of this, but we have to ponder and think. What if we only have one more year left? One Month? Neither a day or an hour left? Have we done our best? Or in the other way or another, Have we shown them the love that we feel. Do we have any guilt that we have never told them how much they mean to us?

The words 'Thank You', 'I Love You' seemed to be so common in our days. Sometimes, we even say it got no impact anymore. Let's bring again the vows that we have at that very moment of the past. Let's rejuvenate the power of words and action.

When they can't hear us anymore, when they can't answer back, when we are filled with tears, and the only words left are "Till we meet again". :((

When forgiveness is a must. :)

Last night, we had our institute class. Ofcourse, the pain is still residing in my heart. I still have hatred. :( Our lesson is all about forgiveness. Ow! Sakto! I thought I was so strong to take all the pain. No, I'm not. Sometimes, I want to give up. Nobody realizes how agonizing the reality is. Though, Pres. Barrientos taught us the power of forgiveness. As it was written in the scripture that the Lord will forgive those he will forgive, but for us, we are required to forgive all. :(
What hurts most for me is the thought that they are too insensitive to realize that I was hurt. The most difficult way to forgive others is when they dont know thay they have hurt you. That's the reason why it's too hard for me to forgive him. I know, he thought I'm alright, I'm okay. He doesn't even know that I was hurt. How could I feel so sorry for him, If he doesn't know how to say sorry for me. In other words, I feel so bitter for everything that he does, that they do. Maybe, time will heal this pain. Not now. :( He, They are too insensitive that they don't feel and realize that I've been into so much agony. :(

I know if I'll just let this feeling reign in my heart, I'll never be happy. I'll be bitter all the time not until the pain and hatred had gone.
In time, I could just let this feeling flaunt and take it off. I'll be able to accept the reality and just set things on a higher ground and a better perspective. :)

MY LETTER TO HIM. :)

My Dearest Eternal Love,
I don't know what do I feel right now. What I know for sure is that I am very excited to meet you. Though I don't know who you are, I know in time, In God's perfect and chosen time I can build all my hopes and dreams with you. I am now preparing myself to that lovely and wonderful day that you will hold my hand and together we will face the Altar and will promise to each other that we will love each other until forever is gone. Wherever you are right now, I know God is also preparing you. After all the pains that life has brought me, I know they are just part of life. Only God knows when will be the time that we are both ready to meet each other. Till we meet! :)

With all my Love,
Hannah:)