October 29, 2010 - Twists and Turns!

We were not able to celebrate Mom and Dad's Silver Anniv. We planned to make it on November 1.

My Day started with tears, but as the sky turns dark, You were there. T'was one of the greatest feeling i've ever felt. :) I was just a bit disappointed with (Airsupply). I dont know what was his reason why he dont talk neither say Hi nor Hello to me. He's just inches away from me. But anyway, I Dont Care. I must not Care at All. We're OVER and DONE! Im Over it. I am really happy that there was this man whom I never expected that he would come and change everything in me. Life has a new plan for me. Yes, I know! I never expect that BJL will soon be leaving me. I dont know his reason. I'm just waiting for the real thing to happen. Let it Flaunt! If that's what he want to do, Its Alright. For now, I am really thankful for (FOLLOWER). He makes me smile, he makes me feel I'm always remembered.

After the Typhoon Juan, Preparation for Papa and Mama's Anniversary.

Home Sweet Home. I was just so excited for tomorrow. Grandma's coming home tomorrow and also, its my Mama and Papa's Silver Wedding Anniversary. 25 years of Marriage, of Love and of Loyalty. I know Families are forever, and the vows they have shared will last until forever. We can live eternally as we apply the gospel in our own lives. :0 Well, I want to be with them. Anyway, im planning to surprise them with my Home-Bake Cake. It is Full of Love for Mama and Papa. Since i was young I never saw Mama and Papa have any arguements. That's how they treasure their relationship for the past 25 years and ofcourse on the years to go. :) Don't worry I'll post pictures after. :) Just last Monday Night, on our Family Home Evening, they shared to us their love story. Their getting to know each other stage, courting stage, and Dad's proposal to Mama. While the typhoon Juan was rarely bugging the outside world of our home, we are gathered together by Papa as we listened to their colorful LOVE STORY. I never heard it, even before. They often share stories from the past. Honestly, it was just last monday night that we are able to know that they will already celebrate their 25th year of LOVE. Rude, but TRUE! I'll share their story on my next entry. I PROMISE!

Follower's Update. :)

I dont know whats happening on me. I am surely inlove. I dont know why things got to be so screwed. Arr. Gooosh! Everybody's telling me na kame nalang daw. Now, Tell me? When will it be? It's still you who would decide. Arr! Im in the Midst of having MIXED EMOTIONS!

Video Uploads. :)

I was singing RUNAWAY. :)



Acoustic of Will You Ever Learn



Torete - Hannah:)



Me and Kuya Dan Singin Rise Above.

The right Words to SAY:)

October 14, 2010
Well, my day didn’t start so good. I hate the fact that they keep on rationalizing with the wrong things that they do. Blrrr! I hate it. :0 I don’t know why tears started to fall, maybe at the thought that I feel so upset. Hmm Last night, I haven’t realize that it’s 11:30 already, I have enjoyed playing Plants Vs. Zombies. I’m lovin’ it anyway. Im currently listening to Call it Karma- Silverstein. I just missed highschool badly. I’ve been nostalgic about the gone days in high school, though I got lots of memories to be remembered. Im running out of words. Let me share to you this magnum opus that I have composed at the middle of emotional agony. Kuya Dan knew this already, he arranged it already with chords and music. 

Note: For the eyes only, please do not copy/edit or any form of stealing without my permission. Thanks!

Pretenses are Over
--Hannah Grace S. Mesde

The whole scene was like something
out of the old movie we’d just seen
The sky was a velvety midnight blue,
dotted with pinpricks of stars

The ocean waves rolled towards us,
moonlight dancing on their swells
I was sure I would never love anyone
as much as I love you at that moment


Refrain:
What did you want to tell me?
Its harder than I expected.
It was no good for me.
Pretenses are over
The long pixietale
story was just a nightmare


Then, I froze, embarrassed. I hadn’t meant to speak
Even I my words had been covered by sigh
I had to laugh at myself, I’d been fuming about you
Being too preoccupied to carry a conversation

I stared at you expectantly, my jaw clenched
Im not obsessed with being the center of attention
But, I have to pretend that I know nothing at all.
I know nothing at all.

(Refrain)

Bridge:
Is there anyway to be unpredictable
and relatively normal at the same time
I don’t want to do that’s actually bad
But it would be nice to be a little less
Do I have to believe or make them believe.
Ours was just a ‘To make believe’ story.

(Refrain)

Woa, this song really SUCKS. :) But i love this. SO classical! :)
If you want to have a copy just get connected on FACEBOOK:)

Journal Entry:)

October 13, 2010
The world seemed to turn upside down. I got loads of problems at school. Naaah, you know it so bad.  But anyway, I’m so excited for the upcoming Party Party Party with Friends, Well, its been months since we have our BONDING. Last Sunday, its General Conference, why is it I always got a dilemma with my seats. He’s always at my back neither on my left or right. Sounds Funny, Yah.  haha .
Woa, I got no internet connection. Blurr! Oh my, to my excitement I forgot to tell you what had happened to me a while back. I don’t know what was his reason in doing those things. Creepy! Arr!  I’m starting to love Pinoy Books again. Cool. XD.

Euphoria Week:)

All I know is that I'm running out of time because of my Drawing Exam, to my disappointment that i got no EXAM today. bluff:|| Arr! Well, i just hate the fact that i left my room and refrain from playing Plants Vs. Zombies just to go to school and take my exams on my Major subject:)
Anyway, i got lots of super-loving experience with Ate Abish Isabella Tamayo. That was really cool and fun:)) The Career Training with the going home missionaries was really good. Full of laughs, fun and blah blah blah. Move On! hoho:) I cant get him OFF:) He's running through my MIND:))
Anyway, here are some pictures during the Workshop. :))

Elder Carl Alombro, Abish Isabella Tamayo (Annaliza Tamayo), Hannah Grace Mesde, Sister Rosales, Elder Phipps, Elder Pandarawan, Elder Dela Pena, Elder Amen. :)

(Click for Larger Views)
Taken October 6, 2010
Cauayan Chapel.

That day was really an WOA! Adventure for me and ate Abish. After the Workshop, we go to Sam then stayed at Talavera for the left hours. We ate at Jolibee to feed our big tummies. haha:)) While waiting for the bus, we shared some experiences while we're conducting the workshop. We really laugh out loud with ourselves. All the funny memories blah blah. :)) Then, Dagupan Bus was on our way, we ride there but we realize that we don't feel so comfortable because of it's gross smell so we planned to transfer into another bus. What makes me say Oh My! was when i step down my foot to the stairs and i saw the missionaries, AP's Office Elders and the Mission President at the Shell Station. We dont know how to react, because it's already 8 in the evening and we're supposed to be at home already. Ofcourse, it's not a big deal anyway. Just the thought of we had already bid goodbye to them when we closed the workshop not knowing that we'll be with them even at the bus. haha:)) But that was really COOL:)) We tried to pretend that we haven't seen them but oh my, ofcourse they would see us. When we got to the Bus, the going home missionaries were shock when they saw us. Haha:)) FUN! Then on our way home, Forbidding Silence! hoho:)) When we reach Santiago, Ate and I never had any guts to looked back:) I finally realize how hard to LEAVE. Now, i know it already. :))

Sembreak Month:)

October na.
Sembreak is really fastapproaching!
and im a YES YES!
I wanna see my friends and be with them again.
Remember, in this month, double 2 is really a MESS!
remember him on october 22. :) one of the happiest day of my life ever, but now, i dont think so:)
i just missed him a lot:)
i know he's doing good right now on his mission:)
i want to send him letters, but i dont have much heart to do it:)
Exactly, grabe:)
Im currently listening to Anthem of our dying days:)
Nakakamiss:)
anyway, i went to my former college school yesterday for my sister. You know what happened? i saw my former professors and classmates. i just missed being with them. :)

i just received a news last night, wala na ulet si ex at jg:)
i dont know if i had to react that i am happy or loose my symphaty on her. Both sides:)
grawwll:)

I'm so excited for sembreak:)

Septembers going to END:)

Oh, i just got a spare time:) Last night, we went to the wake of Ephraim's Lola. While we were on our way, i cant get off my eyes of the place where my bordx died:(( i was really sad. I know that was God's plan for him. Anyway, the other night, he was on my dreams. He looks so nice and the countenance that i've seen was his picturesque when we were on 4th year. I dont know why i feel so paranoid because of this things.
Im actually listening to the song 'I Love You Goodbye', it was a kind of RELIEVED:)) Im okay now. I've moved on already:)

University Intrams:)) SUMA,College Friends:)

Its already September:0 Well And Good. My New hairstyle was really good:0 And im Loving it:0
Look:) What Can You Say? Just two days Ago, It was a really really almost Boring Intrams:0 Super walang ginagawa:)
Well, the entire week was not that super haggard. but I feel so stressed because of sleepless nights, Im still wondering why he deleted me on his facebook. he never mentioned about it. We dont even talk for weeks, but we dont have feud:( Hays! Things seemed to be unreasonable. I miss my friends much:) Boiledeggs:) Arr! Wishing for Sembreak already:0
Here are some picture of my new LOOK:) new LIFE:)

(Click The Pictures for larger view)

Ofcourse, my life as a college student would be super boring without friends. Yes, kahit papano may mga nakaksama ako, dahil alam kong hindi pwedeng maging mag-isa ako at laging maghintay nalang ng time na umuwe ang mga barkada ko:0
Here are they, The SUMA:) Wala lang kameng magawa, kaya yan:0 PhotoShoot:0

From Left to Right -- Ruth Alvarez, Diane Uy, Hannah Grace Mesde, Ivory Jen Siyang :)

Our Jumpshot:)



Cool:0 And I thank them for helping me and supporting me:)

A simple story of what i have experienced:)

I dont know why things happened to be so screwed:) haha.Things are so weird. Last Monday night, the other week, i dremt of a missionary (he was not assigned in our ward) he said to me "When i got home, im going to marry you". I dont know him, i dont even know his name, and i cant remember his face. One thing for sure, i havent met him yet. He was like 5'11, figure like a new zealander. I dont know. hahaha:) Last week was one of the crummiest week ever. loads of paperworks, tutorials and preparation for midterm exams. And the socials had just happened last thursday. It was cool, happy, but not that super great night. Haggard because of sleepless nights. :))
Honestly, i do missed all the people who made my highschool life definitely perfect:)

Last August 21, primary educational tour. a simple scene had captured my compassionate care for kids. There was this child (looks like 6-8 years old), he's walking along the streets and he's selling icecream on sticks. My heart aches for that scenario that he's suppose to be at their home, having some rest, or playing with his buds but there he was. I just cant imagine that, that young boy was spending his saturday on selling ice creams just to earn money. Ironically, the world or our government seemed to have and advocates 'Child's Rights', but how about him. As young as his age he knows how to work hard. Guilty rises through my veins that i don't even appreciate what i have now, i spend a lot of money on non-sense things, i dont work hard to get things that i wanted. But this young boy, he almost have all the difficulties which he was not supposed to have at his age. What he supposes to do is to be in school, write on his paper, listen to his teacher, play with his classmates. But there he was, loosing his voice just to have profit on selling, he never count his walk and never told himself "I'm Tired", instead he keep on shouting "icecream" on the streets. Where's his family? Why do he need to do that? There are unanswered questions but my heart cries because of his industriousness and endurance on life. A lesson learned for me, that i have to appreciate even the very little things that i have because not all people have the privilege to have it. I am more fortunate than them so i must be grateful. I was not able to caught him on cam, because the bus was so fast. but his picture carrying a box on his back full of icecream sticks and walking on the side of the street will always be present in my mind.

Dont have something to write:)

I've found him already on FACEBOOK:) im so happy:) really! i dont have classes this friday:) TIME to unwind:) haha! magulo padin ang utak ko:))

Eto ang bago kong nalaman na kanta:) kakaiyak. pero anganda talaga:)

Just know
We are
A spec
In time.

So follow your bliss
And destroy the beauty

I'll lock myself alone in a room
Drink until the clock strikes noon
With just a pen, a pill, and some paper
And maybe I will write a sad song
Or another cliche poem
Of the person that I long to be

I wanna die like Jim Morrison
A fucking rock star
I wanna die like God on the cover of time.
Just a blink and it's gone
So baby pour some fame in my glass.

So kill the forest
And destroy the beauty.

I'll lock myself alone in a room
Drink until the clock strikes noon
With just a pen, a pill, and some paper
And maybe I will write a sad song
Or another cliche poem
Of the person that I long to be

(Colors blind)
the eyes
(Sounds deafen)
the ear
(Flavors numb)
the taste
(Thoughts weaken)
the mind

I'll attack someone with a switchblade knife
So that I can see their pain
I choose to be a serial killer
'Cause the victims don't get any fame.

I'll lock myself alone in a room
Drink until the clock strikes noon
With just a pen, a pill, and some paper
And maybe I will write a sad song
Or another cliche poem
Of the person that I long to be

Just know we are a spec in time:))

Days are fast approaching:)) Headache:)

After a long time of drama:) eto ako ngayon, madrama padin:)
Tiresome and Exhausting Day:) Seemingly, Tortured yata ang utak ko, especially on TRIGO:) For the past few days that i wasnt able to post my entry here, i have lots of memories:) Well, im just wondering why KUYA BLUE called me 'GRACE'. I was really wondering why:) Nobody calls me that way:) yes, i know my name was HANNAH GRACE, but i cant just think that he'll call me GRACE. And he's looking for someone whose name is MARICAR. I dont know anyone whose name is Maricar:)0 Weird:) Really Weird:)) But, For CL:) he passed by my side last tuesday:) Super Bango nya talaga. Naalala ko tuloy si Rens. How Sad. He reminds me of everything about Rens:) Hays, sice Rens birthday had passed already paranoid padin ako. Hoping that i could visit him on his tomb. I dremt of him last Monday night, i was looking for him over mountains. i dont know why. Hays, too sad i cant get him off:0 Well, CL:), he was on my dream also last tuesday night, he seemed to be so closed to me:)) We were talking about DOTA:) hais, just a while back on the IICT, i got shock because he's looking at me, he was adjacent to my window:) I think Im too weird about being so crazy of him. Whatever:)

When the stars won't shine anymore
I'll be there. Super nakakaiyak talaga:)) i know i cant make things back right now:)) Just how i wish i could:0

When you wake up each morning
And you feel like calling
I'll be there for you
When the road seems uncertain
And you can't stop the hurtin'
I'll be there for you

When there's no one beside you
I'll be there to guide you
Catch you each time you fall
When the stars won't shine anymore
I'll be there...

When the world's unkind
And your dreams, they need more time
I'll be there for you

If the rules they keep breaking
And the future is fading
I'll be there for you

The rainbow will end
In the palm of your hand
Don't ever let it go
When the stars won't shine anymore
I'll be there...

Who knows where we'll go
What will tomorrow bring
But we have each other, just hold on tight
We can take to the skies and fly...

I'll be there for you...
I'll be there for you...

The rainbow will end
In the palm of your hand
Don't ever let it go
When the stars won't shine anymore
I'll be there...

I'll be there

Super nalaulungkot ako sa kantang to:) hays.:)) Anyways, i missed posting my entry here:)) i got a busy schedule on doing my paperworks.

Eto ako ngayon:))

Look at my newly uploaded pictures:))

eto na ako ngayon, Pumayat daw? haha:))

I guess, parang mas Masaya ako dito:)

Tapos na din ang TRIGO AT PHILOS:)) breathe:))

Tapos na ang exam ng PHILOS at TRIGO. nakakatuwa lang na nahirapan talaga ako. haha. ngayon lang to nangyare na nagreview ako pero walang pumasok sa utak ko. haha. the whole week was reall BUSY:)) its been days na din since yung last na post ko na everything was all about RENS:))
ngayon medyo okay na ang pakiramdam ko. I just need him pero sa mga ala-ala nagiging masaya naman ako:))
I was able to read my diary kanina and i got shock na may mga ganong nangyare pala sa buhay ko. puro mga failures at kakornihan sa pag-ibig. Naalala ko tuloy ang bestfriend kong isa pa, si NIKKO. Katulad din ni RENS, madami din kaming mgandang ala-ala at siya talaga ang unang tinawag kong BESTFRIEND sa loob ng MONTE:)) naalala ko lang na isa siya sa mga hindi ko makakalimutan na BESTFRIEND:)) TULAD din NIYA:)) kilala na yan ng buong mundo:))
MAsaya ako dahil kahit papanu nababawasan ang bigat ng kalooban ko.
Namimiss ko ng sobra ang high school. parang dati napakadali lang magtawag ng 'Uy, MCDO tayo. ngayon mahirap na dahil nsa MAnila sila at ang iba naman busy sa pag-aaral. Parang ako lang ata ang hindi nagiging hectic ang schedule. haha:))
Sad News na naman pala. Wala na din si GRINGO GONZALES. He died last monday night. Sad talaga dahil kahit papano may friendship din na nabuo sa amin. But wherever he is, i know he is Happy:)) Ayokong masyadong damdamin dahil ayaw kong bumaha na naman ng luha at maging miserable ang buhay ko tulad nung nawala si Bords:))
May mga magagandang ala-ala naman na naiwan na pwedeng balikan:))

Ancute neto:))